Our love to each other; before and after.

You see our love was no fairytale, we had our ups and we had our downs like every normal couple, we weren’t perfect, but we loved each other nevertheless, we fought so hard for our love and we never gave up on one another, when others were trying to tear us apart we never let it get to us, nobody ever wanted to see us together because they never seen the good in you, they only seen the hard ass in you, and because you were an asshole they thought you were always like that, but truth was I need you to be on my ass hard, I needed you to take control because I am my worst enemy and without you I would get myself into trouble, but you balanced me in ways nobody ever could, you taught me how to love in a different kind of way, you taught me how live right and for that I am eternally grateful, so below are the poems that were written for each other, the first one was to him the second one was him to me and the last was after his passing.. he was and forever will be the love of my life.

What I wrote to him; what he knew

Sometimes I wonder what my world would be like

If I didn’t have someone like you in my life.

I come back to reality only to see

That I wouldn’t be myself without you and me.

I am looking forward to the future, hoping you’ll be with me,

Growing old together and being happy as can be.

I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

I know all of the hell I’ve been putting you through.

I am so sorry, and I can’t say that enough,

But I hope that’s the last time it will ever be rough.

I love you completely, with all of my heart,

I will love you forever, ’til death do us part.

What he wrote to me; what I knew

“no matter how much crap we had to take, we always found a way, we never let ourselves break,

to see you smile, thats my whole world, my soul was cold, until i met you.

I know sometimes we both would get confused, but I know now my future is with you.

I just need you to see all that you can be, anything, anything you see, anything you dream,

sometimes I think about the ones who tried to destroy you, even if it was before me, just say the word and oh god the things I would do.

a mother, a lover, a sinner, …..but in her eyes i see the good thats in her,

you might not be able to see what I see, but none of your opinions even matter to me.

she gave me back a feeling i thought for soo long was dead, she gave me back the sanity the only clarity inside my head

so this is where you accept the facts and wish us well, and if any of you challenge us Ill show you the meaning of hell.

hell lives inside me, shes the only one who could calm my hate, destiny has now showed me we are meant to be and this is truly fate.

I long to be with you, always, and to always be true, I value your presence I dont know who I am without you

I dont know where Id be if she never saved me, shes the only thing in this world who can stop me from going crazy

I cant wait just to hold you, to get married and grow old too, I will love you forever and always Ashley.”

“Love you always and forever,

Your soon to be husband.”

What I wrote for him after..

The moment we first met we fell in love. You made me feel alive, and happy, you were always going to be the one.

You gave me that passion, adventure, and even a little danger, that I longed for in a man, and you were my everything,

thoughts of getting married. Growing old together. No matter how many times we fought you always knew how to balance me out.

It was always going to be you baby, I fell so completely in love with you. I loved you with Every inch of my body and soul.

You were my moon, and my stars. I fought so hard to get where I am at today, all because of you.

I promised you my whole heart and soul, I promised you I was all yours, You gave me my life back, you showed me how to conquer my demons,

you showed me how to be strong. I honestly don’t know how I am going to survive life without you in it.

I never imagined my life apart from you. All I have are memories now of what we had. And I will cherish every moment I had with you.

It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, and I am truly grateful I spent the last years of your life with you.

Our love was so strong and undeniable. I will never love another like I loved you. I will forever hold a place for you in my heart my darling.

I don’t know how to live without you, I always told you I would die without your love, and now I’m dying inside.

I’ll never get to hear your laugh or see your smile, and hear your funny jokes and intelligent wisdom.

I love you so much Anthony Michael, and I will love you even after death. We are always and forever, soulmates til the end of time.

I truly believe that we will meet again baby. I love you, to the moon and the stars baby squirrel.


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